Real Men

Oi! What's going on in there?

http://callmerolf.blogspot.com

Productivity

I had plans for last Sunday. These plans involved shopping, visiting my niece and nephews and illegally copying some music DVDs - all in all, a full day.

Instead of doing these wonderful things, I spent most of the day curled up on a friend's sofa in a drunken stupor, shivering with cold and coughing up the butt-ends of the party we had the night before.

However, I did manage to make my way through the broken glass and pools of spilt drink in the kitchen to make some toast and coffee, before picking up my car from where it left it on Friday night before the festivities started.

A very productive day, all things considered.

Milestone

It is two full weeks since I last spent the night in my car.

Wrong

I helped a friend to move house last Sunday. He now lives directly above one night club and shares an apartment with the manager of another. Things are looking good.

On the down side, though, he asked me if I was up for a few pints afterwards and I heard myself reply:

"No, thanks, I have a busy day in work tomorrow."

That's just plain wrong.

Paradox

I can't drink anymore, but I can't drink any less.

(Thanks Rob)

Education

Avoid drinking between lectures if possible.

When I first attended full time college, I had a two-hour break between classes which I filled by going to one of the local pubs in Rathmines (Hynes and Curtins - sadly no longer with us) and watching Neighbours and Going for Gold over a few beers.

This led to serial truancy and the eventual failure of my exams.

In later life, I found it necessary to settle for coffee and cigarettes between lecutres, and attempting to convince my study buddies to go for drinks afterwards. My exam results improved (though strangely not my attendance at lectures) but my health and blood-alcohol levels deteriorated rapidly.

The moral of this story is that you should always sneak alcohol into lectures. That way, you can get a good education without having to deal with sobriety.

Beer of the Month - August 2005

This month's favourite beer is Nastro Azzurro from Peroni.

Nastro Azzurro is Italian for "Blue Ribbon" - not an auspicious name for a beer, but it makes up for this shortcoming with great taste and palatability. Drink Nastro in Italian restaurants with pizza or meat and pasta dishes. If the waiter doesn't have any Nastro, he'll bring you a standard Peroni, which is certainly drinkable, but make a mental note never to eat there again.


Alcohol: 5.1 % Vol.
Flavour: Dry with a delicate hop aroma
Type of beer: Premium export lager
Fermentation: At low temperature
Serving temperature: 7-9 C
Colour: Straw yellow
Bottle: 33cl, 66cl, Keg 30 Litre

http://www.nastroazzurro.it/

C'è più gusto a essere Italiani - There is more taste to being Italian

Travel

I recently discovered that the Metropolitan Bar on the Stena Line fast ferry does not serve Heineken on draught.

This is an outrage!

I was forced to drink Stella for the entire two-hour crossing. Not that there is anything wrong with Stella, but man needs his Heineken. I'm starting a campaign to get draught Heineken on board all Stena Line ferries.

You can help by mailing info.ie@stenaline.com and expressing your disgust.

Diet

Drinking on an empty stomach is not good. However, by the second pint your stomach is no longer empty, so you have nothing to worry about.

Connoisseur

The next time you open a bottle of Fink Brau, be sure to inhale the little wisp of vapour that rises up from the neck.

It smells of cat's piss and is quite addictive.

Nostalgia

I don't remember much about my mid-twenties. Those years were a blur of taxis, night clubs and work. At least, I assume there was some work - somebody must have been paying for all that alcohol.

Perhaps I was a rent boy and have blocked out the memory.

Reality Check

If you have never woken up on the floor of an apartment you don't recognise, unaware of how you got there, covered with your own urine and vomit, stop reading this immediately and head directly to the pub.